borfast Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 I'm going to burst laughing! How can the patents office allow these things? It's just ridiculous! http://business.newsforge.com/business/04/06/11/179255.shtml?tid=110&tid=85 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DCS Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 LOL, there's something you don't hear everyday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deverill Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 Ah, it's not Caps Lock itself but any method of notifying you that it's on. Interestingly enough, Windows XP's login screen warns you when you start typing the password that Caps Lock is on. Hmmmm. Let the games begin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
borfast Posted June 12, 2004 Author Share Posted June 12, 2004 (edited) Yes, the title I wrote is a bit misleading, sorry. But it's going to be fun, anyway. Humm... I wonder if I'll have to thrash my keybord in order to remove the Caps Lock light Oh, by the way, my Caps Lock is off, as I type this. Now, since I told you this, which is a way of letting you know if my Caps Lock is on/off, must I pay them royalties because of this post? This is just too much I just hope the people in the European Parliament open their eyes to this and see how ridiculous this is. Elections tomorrow... I wonder how this will end up... Edited June 12, 2004 by TCH-Raul Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virtual Imager Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 I think that just as there are laws on the books that are deemed unenforceable and therefore arrests are not made, there will be patents whose violations are equally unenforceable and not pursued. Companies will certainly have to consider the bad PR (Public Relations, not Page Rank) of going after 'violators' and looking silly. But then again, maybe not. Especially when you consider that these decisions are made by lawywers. BTW.... I'm patenting the idea of using initials to abbreviate complete phrases. By my estimation, members of this board owe me a nice chunk of change. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TCH-Don Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 Ok I am going to copyright the word Patent Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deverill Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 If you do that I'll trademark the word "copyright"! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TCH-Don Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 where will it end Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TCH-Thomas Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 (edited) Ok I am going to copyright the word Patent I think some one did that in Rauls first thread about this. EDIT: Thinks it was me or Robert, but not sure. Edited June 12, 2004 by Jikrantz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TCH-Don Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 Whoops Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TCH-Thomas Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 But Don, you have after me and Jessica full permission to publish Ginnie & Piggie. Just yell, the camera is running every day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarqFlare Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 It was ME! I patented the word patent! You owe me royalties now. I demand that you cough up your brain to me, as that is the most valuable thing you own. I'm also confiscating your keyboard so you can no longer type the word "patent" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TCH-Bruce Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 You owe me royalties now. I demand that you cough up your brain to me, as that is the most valuable thing you own. Robert, you can have mine, I'm not using it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TCH-Thomas Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 Im sorry to say this Robert but in http://www.totalchoicehosting.com/forums/i...showtopic=10551 you say: I want to patent the word patent... So technically it is still patentable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarqFlare Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 Oh, well, it's want no more. I patented it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TCH-Rob Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 Robert, I patented so you owe me some money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danceswithscissors Posted June 13, 2004 Share Posted June 13, 2004 I JUST LOVE BREAKING THE RULES :: snicker :: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarqFlare Posted June 13, 2004 Share Posted June 13, 2004 Robert, I patented so you owe me some money. Ahh, so you want to play dirty, do you? I patent the name Robert and all variations of it, including the following: Rob Roberto Bob Bobby Robby You owe me.. your LIFE! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TCH-Rob Posted June 13, 2004 Share Posted June 13, 2004 You owe me.. your LIFE! Brother, You can have it, I have already run it into the ground. There isnt anything worthwhile left of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hockeypuck Posted June 13, 2004 Share Posted June 13, 2004 *patents Water* Ha. Now you can't survive without paying me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deverill Posted June 13, 2004 Share Posted June 13, 2004 Water is naturally occuring and thus can't be patented. Now that bottle you're holding that contains the water... <Evil Laugh>. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevan_j Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 How about patenting the act of drinking water (and other beverages)..... And while we are at it, I might just patent the idea of trademarking and copyrighting....WOOHOO - gonna be rich!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarqFlare Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 I already patented patenting. So every time you take royalty on your trademark and copyright patent, I take a royalty based upon the fact that you used your patent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boojum Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 (edited) [Pant! Pant! Whew!] Okay, everyone: I just returned from a trip back to the ultimate past—the exact moment of the Big Bang—where I have patented the following: Matter Antimatter Energy Dark Matter Dark Energy Time Space Gravity Creation Evolution Destruction Thought Imagination Language and all components thereof Mathematics and all components thereof The laws of physics Everything else I also took the precaution of retroactively patenting anything that may be imagined or invented by anyone using any of the above, with or without licensure. By my calculations, you now jointly and severally owe me the combined GNP of this and every other universe past, present or to come. I'll thank you to pay me now, before you get any further into debt. (Please note that I have foreclosed the patent office for patent infringement. If you wish to patent anything [after paying your share of the debt mentioned above, of course], contact me. I will not grant you a patent, but I can virtually promise you a good belly-laugh at your expense.) Edited June 15, 2004 by Boojum Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deverill Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 Uhm, don't you have to be the creator of something to patent it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boojum Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 Not if you patent said something 15 billion years or so before the existence of the patent office. By the way, itemizing the royalties you owe me for the patented components of the preceding question, I find: Matter (gray; used for thinking; approx. 4 lb @ $.98/lb) + (fleshware; used to support gray matter; approx. 200 lb @ $.98/lb) + (food; used to support fleshware; approx. 1825 lb/yr x approx. 45 yr @ [avg] $4.27/lb) + (air; used to support respiration; approx. 2.7 x 10^29 l @ $0.000312/l) + (water; used to maintain hydration; approx. 1.3 x 10^5 l @ $0.0173/l) + Energy (1.39 x 10^229 kEv @ $0.000276/kEv) + (1.62 x 10^18 joules @ $0.0000724/joule) + Evolution (3.2 billion years @ $1.27/yr) ______________________________________ More money than you or anyone else will ever have. (Please note: I am allowing you a temporary amnesty on your royalty debts for Antimatter, Dark Matter, Dark Energy, Time, Space, Gravity, Creation, Destruction, Thought, Imagination, Language and All Components thereof, Mathematics and All Components thereof, the Laws of Physics and Everything Else, in spite of your liberal use of all of them. This is partly an act of kindness, and partly a result of the fact that all the universe's accountants are now in bankruptcy for overusing Mathematics and All Components thereof. As soon as they emerge from bankruptcy, of course, I will have to charge them for using bankruptcy itself, since it is clearly a subset of Everything Else.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarqFlare Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 You have no way to enforce your patents. Nyah nyah! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deverill Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 (Please note: I am allowing you a temporary amnesty on your royalty debts for Antimatter, ... and Everything Else, in spite of your liberal use of all of them. AHA! I'm a conservative so there! I make liberal use of nothing. Like Robert said, Nyah! (You really do have too much time on your hands don't you? ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boojum Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 You have no way to enforce your patents. Nyah nyah! I hereby revoke your existence license, retroactive to the moment of conception. Please hand in your body, mind and soul to the Head Guru, who is my agent in this matter and authorized to draw 10 percent of all profits. The good news is, TCH is now worth $7.61 x 10^32 and appreciating at a rate of 65 billion percent per day. Therefore, Rock Sign and rolls! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boojum Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 (Please note: I am allowing you a temporary amnesty on your royalty debts for Antimatter, ... and Everything Else, in spite of your liberal use of all of them. AHA! I'm a conservative so there! I make liberal use of nothing. Like Robert said, Nyah! (You really do have too much time on your hands don't you? ) 1) If you're going to take that attitude, I will be forced to retract the amnesty offer. You therefore now owe me $8.31 x 10^664, payable six billion years ago. At five trillion percent interest, compounded hourly, you therefore owe a total that cannot be displayed without exceeding the server capacity. 2) Since you will never be able to pay that amount, I will accept payment in kind. To be precise, you owe so much that you'll be a liberal if I say you will ... and be glad I haven't reassigned you as a Peruvian Shining Path Maoist—yet. 3) As for time on my hands, I would like you to compare the number of posts I've added to this forum with the number contributed by the late, lamented Robert. 4) Be glad you're useful enough not to have shared Robert's fate—again, yet. 5) 6) So there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boxturt Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 I believe I would like to patent "Nothing". heehee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TCH-Rob Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 (edited) I am happy to be simple minded. I understand none of this so even if I was reassigned as a Peruvian Shining Path Maoist I would not care as I still would not understand it. Ty, To patent nothing is to patent everything, for everything is in nothing. Edited June 16, 2004 by TCH-Rob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boojum Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 My crack legal team, immediately upon completion of its rehab program, examined this issue in all due depth and has determined that nothing: 1) cannot be patented because it doesn't exist, and 2) even if it did exist, it is incorporated into Everything Else, on which of course I hold the patent. The team thereupon returned to its rehab program for an additional 30 days on the grounds that the preceding opinion constitutes prima facie evidence of continued mental disturbance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kolibri Posted June 20, 2004 Share Posted June 20, 2004 So who are going to patent links? Oh wait... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThumpAZ Posted June 23, 2004 Share Posted June 23, 2004 (edited) I hold patent to "Nothing Else" go after that one. Oh, and to the gum that gets stuck to the bottom of your shoe while checking the mail at the communal mailboxes found in most all housing developments... but I'll gladly give you the ABC gum back if you really want it. Edited June 23, 2004 by TCH-Glenn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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