Somehow
You call a list broker, getting a list of unmarried women that meet certain demographic, psychographic, and physical selects . Follow this with a sales letter mailout to the list highlighting your strengths , and details who you're looking for, makes an offer and a call to action . Split testing this letter against another version of the sales piece sent to the same list. Tracking and comparing the response. Find out what party she is at and ask her to marry you.
**That's Direct Marketing.**
Just doesnt read as funny to me.