Dorsey, just some comments on some of your items...
Sorry, you are 100% wrong here. TCH is no where near the cheapest and IMO, you can't find another host out there offering the one-on-one attention ALL of the TCH staff provide. Granted you can't avoid typical run of the mill support issues, but it's the fact that the staff are readily available to get resolutions started. This is GOLD to any customer.
I'm going to assume you have a managed server? So with that, would you rather they fix security holes ASAP (which in turn protects the rest of their network and customers), or get your permission and wait on you to fix insecure/non compliant scripts? Personally, I vote option one since I'm possibly the other guy with boxes on the same network. I think it's ridiculous to criticize any admin for being PROACTIVE and protecting customers. TCH seems to be doing what they were payed to do here even if they are plugging security holes before they tell you. And what better way to get the answers you seek on the problems than to have a handful of support staff that you can PERSONALLY speak with? Yep, I'll take a few smart dudes over 50 slugs anyday.
Simple (and this isn't meant to be condescending), if you need more control over the admin side of the house, DO IT YOURSELF. TCH is managing your boxes, not employing your own personal admins. Go ahead and take your '>25 years' and do your own admin work and simply leverage TCH against things you can't do.