All I Want For Christmas...

[owatagal]

Dear Santa,

 

As you might remember, my college loans are entering repayment. Since I doubt you're going to show up with a big check to cover the loan costs, I'll keep my wish list simple this year.

 

I'd like my answering machine back, please.

 

My unspeakable current loan provider has sold my information to every Joe on the street. You know which company I'm talking about--they're on your evil list. In big, bold letters. Thanks to them, I'm getting six or seven telemarketing calls a day from people trying to consolidate my loans.

 

Interestingly, the telemarketers are putting me on hold before they even talk to me. You heard me right: I answer the phone and immediately get Muzak masquerading as Christmas music. If I hang around long enough, a telemarketer eventually picks it up, but I've stopped hanging around that long. Who would?

 

Actually, I stopped answering my phone. I let my machine get all the calls now. This saves my sanity, but it's depressing my machine. By the time I get home, there can be up to ten minutes of tinny Christmas Muzak on the machine. That's enough to depress anyone, even a machine as simple as my answering machine. It isn't even digital. It still has a little mini tape recorder in it. But I swear I can see tears of pain seeping out of that red blinking light when I get home.

 

I'm afraid my machine will kamikazee off the kitchen counter if this keeps up. And if that happens, there will be nothing left to protect the tiny kernals of goodwill-towards-men that the telemarketers and my loan company haven't been able to shatter yet. I'd like to have some humanity left for the New Year. I really would.

 

And like I said--I'm not asking you to pay off my loans or anything.

 

Just give me back my answering machine.

 

Thanks, Santa.

[TCH-Bruce]

Interestingly, the telemarketers are putting me on hold before they even talk to me. You heard me right: I answer the phone and immediately get Muzak masquerading as Christmas music. If I hang around long enough, a telemarketer eventually picks it up, but I've stopped hanging around that long. Who would?

Not true, you are being hit with an automated dialer and when you answer your call is routed to the next available marketing agent.

 

Get yourself a Tele-Zapper which will eliminate most of these calls as soon as you pick up the receiver or your answering machine does.

 

Also get your number on the national do not call list.

[Madmanmcp]

The "Do Not Call List" has done wonders at my home. Yes we still get a few, but these are slowing down also after receiving a couple blasts from my air horn.

 

h_tps://www.donotcall.gov/default.aspx

[Deverill]

An (I think) interesting aside, the Tele-Zapper works by playing three tones at the beginning of every incoming phone call. You know them... they are the "do-do-dee" you hear right before "The number you have dialed has been disconnected or is no longer available." message. The silly computer dialers assume it's a disconnected number and take it off the list.... at least they used to - I don't know if they've gotten smarter yet.

 

Another thing you can try is that my previous phone provider, BellSouth, had a service called Privacy Director. If a call comes in as "unidentified", "private" or "unknown" on the caller ID, the phone company intercepts it before ringing your home and plays a message that goes along the lines of "Go away bozo, if you're legit then say your name, if not, go away." Then if they leave a name it rings and you hear "This bozo <Capital One> wants to talk to you. Press 1 for OK, 2 to say no nicely or 3 to hang up"

 

The predictive dialing computers can't handle it at all and sales slugs won't bother so your phone rarely rings unless it's your friends. Pretty cool actually.

 

*No offense to people in the sales business. You are necessary and I bear no grudge against you, just the way businesses force you to produce and be persistent which is a pain in my butt. The last thing I need when I tell AOL I want to cancel is 500 questions about why and a 10 minute monologue telling me why I'm stupid to cancel for that reason.

[TCH-Tim]

Dear Santa,

 

Since you don't have to pay off owatagal's college loans, feel free to take care of mine.

 

Thanks Santa.

[abinidi]

/Paul gets on soapbox

 

[soap box]

I consolidated my student loans last year, and I'm still getting loan consolidation letters in the mail.

 

The one I got the day before yesterday really ticked me off, though, because it started with:

 

Mr. Pehrson

Account number [some fake number]Important Notice. You must reply to this letter immediately regarding your student loan payment. We have been trying to contact you regarding your student loan and have been unable to, and if you don't respond immediatley, your student loan payments may be twice as much as they should be [or some similar yada yada bologna].

 

This kind of stuff should be illegal. It is like when I get "bills" in the mail to renew my domain name -- only they aren't from my registrar, and the price is 3-4 times what my registrar charges.

 

If you read carefully it says "this is not a bill", but the way it is formatted, I'm sure that there are people who pay it without giving it enough attention.

 

Sorry. I'll get off the soapbox now.

[/soapbox]

 

Have a great day. And don't fall prey to unscrupulous marketers!

[cajunman4life]

I used to be a telemarketer. Talk about a depressing job, I don't even hear no that much at a bar lol. Needless to say I didn't last long because my numbers weren't strong. But they definately annoy me too. If they were actually calling about something I was interested in, I'd have no problem (Omaha Steaks may call me at any time ) however anyone else I'm usually not interested in anything they have to offer.

 

Just my $0.02

[abinidi]

If I'm not drifiting too far off topic.... I don't mind some telemarketing calls either. I just hate it when they try to con you into doing something by pretending (or making it appear as if) they have a legitimate existing business relationship when they don't.

 

On the other hand, the other week I entered a drawing for a car at the local mall, and I got a call from one of those timeshare companies. We went to the presentation and got 75 bucks in gift cards to Kohls department store. (We told the timeshare company "no"; but hey, I'll go listen to "a 90 minute presentation" if they want to give me 75 bucks...)

 

Then last night I went to Kohls and got a 300 dollar winter coat (marked down 66% to 100.00) and all I had to pay was 30 bucks. That was pretty cool.

 

So I don't hate all telemarketers/marketing companies. Just the ones that pretend to be what they aren't. THAT really ticks me off.

[TCH-Thomas]

Dear Santa,

I don´t have any bills etc that needs to be taken care of, but if you can set up a date with one of the beautiful nurses I met on the hospital I was recently on I would be very happy.

 

Thanks.

[TCH-Rob]

Heck yeah Thomas! Tell Santa to set me up with that too.

[owatagal]

abindi, I'll trade your telemarketers for mine!

[cajunman4life]

Santa can pay my bills as well. I've spent thousands on others but I haven't gotten myself anything for Christmas. Maybe I'll buy more stocks. Did pretty well for me last year. Which reminds me, I need to go complete my new 401(k) packet (the company I work for was recently bought out, so now we have to re-do all that stuff... joy). Later!

[bellringr]

What I loved is when my Readers Digest subscription ran out several years back, and I started getting threatening letters from them saying they were going to report me to creditors if I didn't pay for a new subscription. It's not like they were still sending me magazines....they were using outright illegal scare tactics to get me to renew. Needless to say, several people in that company got letters/calls from me and I will never buy it again.