Boojum Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 (edited) This is an adaptation of a feature on my site called Titular Torsion. The concept is simple. 1. Name the title of a book, play, movie, short story, song, sports team, etc., and change/add/delete one character or transpose two. 2. Write a brief description of what the retitled book, etc., is about. Here's an example to start with: Schindler's Lisp It wath tho bad, he called himthelf Thindler. Edited June 11, 2004 by Boojum Quote
Virtual Imager Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 Ward and Peace A boy becomes a ward of the state and terrorizes a community untill he learns the errors of his ways. Quote
Boojum Posted June 9, 2004 Author Posted June 9, 2004 The Book of Virtue "Virtue," as defined by Bill Bennett: "Resisting the temptation to draw to an inside straight." By the way, VI, that wasn't bad. Feel free to submit it to my Titular Torsion page if you'd like it added (with attribution, under either your real name or your preferred nick, of course) to that feature. This naturally applies to anyone here. Rock Sign Quote
Virtual Imager Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 Shotgun A young, drunk, civil war hero travels to Japan with his shotgun to take on the yellow savages armed only with swords. After being captured, he ingratiates himself into their culture and in a matter of months is able to out-sword the swordsmen even though they've been training practically since birth. In the end the poor yellow savages all die and the white savior is left to carry on their ways. Wait!! Didn't they already make that movie? Quote
Boojum Posted June 9, 2004 Author Posted June 9, 2004 Brevity being the soul of wit, I usually try to keep my descriptions to one sentence. E.g: In Dubious Bottle Wine sealed with the contents of Sammy Sosa's bat may spoil quickly. You'll probably find a few exceptions to that on my page, but it is still my rule to be fairly brief. Quote
Virtual Imager Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 Well it was a long book! And I thought it was funny. But we can't go breaking any rules, can we? (Are you sure you're not a Republican???) woooot woooot Journey to the Center of the Hearth Santa gets stuck in the chimney. Quote
Boojum Posted June 9, 2004 Author Posted June 9, 2004 Much better. Submit that one, if you want it published. The Germinator Ahnold returns as the world's toughest gardener. Quote
Virtual Imager Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 Stranger in a Strange Gland Exciting journey through the mammary gland of a hermaphrodite. Quote
Boojum Posted June 9, 2004 Author Posted June 9, 2004 (edited) Not bad, Rob. [Edit: Er, Rob? Rob? I'd swear I saw an entry from Rob here when I posted this. Maybe I've finally turned the corner.] You should both send those entries to me at this address, with the subject set as "Twisted_Titles" and I'll includea selection of them on my next update. And now, newly forged in honor of our unlikely NHL champions: Tampa Bay Lightening As the reflected glory of the Stanley Cup slowly rises in the Southeast .... Edited June 11, 2004 by Boojum Quote
TCH-Thomas Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 Maybe I've finally turned the corner. Welcome home Quote
Boojum Posted June 9, 2004 Author Posted June 9, 2004 Thanks for the words of welcome, Thomas. Now, how about a twisted title? Quote
TCH-Rob Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 (edited) Brian, I removed it because it did not fit the rules, Matrix and Playtex are neither one letter changes nor a transposition of letters, just similar sounding. Edited June 9, 2004 by TCH-Rob Quote
Virtual Imager Posted June 10, 2004 Posted June 10, 2004 Hell Hath No Furry A woman goes on a rampage when her furs are stolen by a terrorist animal rights group. Quote
Virtual Imager Posted June 10, 2004 Posted June 10, 2004 The Complete Karma Sutra The world's oldest guide to the the pleasures and techniques of creating good karma. Illustrated, of course. Quote
Boojum Posted June 10, 2004 Author Posted June 10, 2004 And one of my favorite plays: King Richard the Secord How he helped Ollie North shred the Constitution. (By the way, Rob, I saw what you meant when I reviewed the title you'd submitted. But feel free to come up with other entries.) Quote
Boojum Posted June 11, 2004 Author Posted June 11, 2004 Brevity being the soul of wit, I usually try to keep my descriptions to one sentence. E.g: In Dubious Bottle Wine sealed with the contents of Sammy Sosa's bat may spoil quickly. You'll probably find a few exceptions to that on my page, but it is still my rule to be fairly brief. I have thought over what I said above, and have realized that my implied criticism of VirtualImager was unfair and high-handed. This is a game I have started, and one which I hope the TCH family will enjoy. But it is not my game. It is not on my site. And I therefore have no right to censor its contents. I hope that VirtualImager—and anyone else who has a good twisted title or three to contribute—will do so free of any fear of criticism, stated or implied. My apologies to VI and the rest of the family. Rock Sign Quote
Virtual Imager Posted June 11, 2004 Posted June 11, 2004 Brevity being the soul of wit, I usually try to keep my descriptions to one sentence. E.g: In Dubious Bottle Wine sealed with the contents of Sammy Sosa's bat may spoil quickly. You'll probably find a few exceptions to that on my page, but it is still my rule to be fairly brief. I have thought over what I said above, and have realized that my implied criticism of VirtualImager was unfair and high-handed. This is a game I have started, and one which I hope the TCH family will enjoy. But it is not my game. It is not on my site. And I therefore have no right to censor its contents. I hope that VirtualImager—and anyone else who has a good twisted title or three to contribute—will do so free of any fear of criticism, stated or implied. My apologies to VI and the rest of the family. Rock Sign Apology accepted. You'll note it didn't stop me... I submitted several after that. Just haven't come up with any good ones lately. I guess after the Karma Sutra I needed a break and a cigarette! LOL I'm enjoying all of the games in which I'm participating on the forum... thanks, everyone, for playing. VI Quote
Boojum Posted June 11, 2004 Author Posted June 11, 2004 Thank you for persevering. I also hope we'll get some more players in here for variety's sake. Meanwhile: Heartbreaking Work of a Staggering Genius Dave Eggers' second book—written entirely while under the influence of multiple margaritas. Quote
Virtual Imager Posted June 11, 2004 Posted June 11, 2004 Ship of Foods Patriots, tired of giving aid to countries that hate us, start a mutiny on a supply ship bound for Iraq. Quote
Boojum Posted June 11, 2004 Author Posted June 11, 2004 I think I served on that ship. It was called the USS Mars (AFS-1). The AFS purportedly stood for "Attack Food Ship" (seriously). This always gave me mental images of us pelting the Soviets to death with frozen porkchops. Other interpretations of what the AFS might stand for included: Auxiliary Floating Safeway, Always #@*&ing Somebody and the ever-popular Another [Fine] Ship. [As Bruce would have it.] Moby Duck Captain Ahab sets out in relentless pursuit of the White Mallard. Quote
Virtual Imager Posted June 11, 2004 Posted June 11, 2004 Lost in Place (I know I changed two letters.... sue me!) Government stands still and a national emergency is declared when a mass outbreak of alzheimers disease strikes and the entire nation forgets what really happened during the Reagan administration. Quote
Boojum Posted June 11, 2004 Author Posted June 11, 2004 (I know I changed two letters.... sue me!) That would take it one step beyond twisted; I think it's either a Tortured or at least a Tormented Title. The Merry Lives of Windsor His sins were scarlet, but his books weren't read. Of course, he was a bit too merry to write any. Quote
Virtual Imager Posted June 11, 2004 Posted June 11, 2004 That would take it one step beyond twisted; I think it's either a Tortured or at least a Tormented Title. yeah...but you have to admit it was a good one! Quote
Boojum Posted June 11, 2004 Author Posted June 11, 2004 Yes. It was a good Tormented Title. McBeth A new McDonald's product. No, you don't want to know what's in it. Quote
Virtual Imager Posted June 11, 2004 Posted June 11, 2004 Steal This Cook Abbie Hoffman leaves the counter-culture behind and becomes a chef. Quote
Boojum Posted June 12, 2004 Author Posted June 12, 2004 All's Swell that Ends Well And peachy-keen, to boot. Quote
Virtual Imager Posted June 12, 2004 Posted June 12, 2004 Fiddler on the Hoof Tevya takes off on horseback when one of his daughters wants to marry outside the faith. Quote
Boojum Posted June 12, 2004 Author Posted June 12, 2004 Simon of Athens Better do what he says! Quote
Urbanprez Posted June 20, 2004 Posted June 20, 2004 MAYTRIX A documentary about the permiscuous life of may flies born in the red light district. Quote
Boojum Posted June 21, 2004 Author Posted June 21, 2004 A Sale of Two Cities Order today, and get a free gift! (I've always loved that phrase. A free gift. As distinguished from what—a gift that you pay for? Then again, since you have to pay to get it ....) Quote
Urbanprez Posted June 21, 2004 Posted June 21, 2004 The One Minute Manger A How To guide for quick holiday decorations. Quote
Urbanprez Posted June 21, 2004 Posted June 21, 2004 Gone In Sixties Eckons Low budget psychodelic drama about the life and times of LSD user Joe Eckons. Quote
Virtual Imager Posted June 21, 2004 Posted June 21, 2004 My Wife Bill Clinton pens another 900-plus pages... Quote
Boojum Posted June 21, 2004 Author Posted June 21, 2004 The Wife of Brian She thought she was marrying the guy next door. Quote
Urbanprez Posted June 22, 2004 Posted June 22, 2004 Rockford Tiles Jim takes up tile laying as the economy forces his agency to close. Quote
Boojum Posted June 22, 2004 Author Posted June 22, 2004 Bard Times Your source for local news in Stratford-Upon-Avon. Quote
Urbanprez Posted June 22, 2004 Posted June 22, 2004 McGyver Another McDonald's treat...comes wrapped with amazing twine. Quote
TCH-Rob Posted June 23, 2004 Posted June 23, 2004 The X-Flies Two agents for the Federal Bureau of Insectigation search an orchard to see if the fruit is out there. Quote
Boojum Posted June 25, 2004 Author Posted June 25, 2004 All's Swell that Ends Well And peachy-keen, to boot. Quote
danceswithscissors Posted July 7, 2004 Posted July 7, 2004 SPACE CHOWBOYS "Four young entrepreneurs haul their chuckwagon into orbit around Planet Earth and set up *Hawk's Hickory Hut*. The finest in cast iron cuisine!" Quote
Boojum Posted July 7, 2004 Author Posted July 7, 2004 "The Mosque of the Red Death" A soon-to-be-leaked Bush administration plan to reduce the numbers of "insurgents" in Iraq. Quote
danceswithscissors Posted July 8, 2004 Posted July 8, 2004 I, Wobot Bugs Bunny finds himself in charge of the cloning department on Carrotus IV. Quote
Boojum Posted July 8, 2004 Author Posted July 8, 2004 The Jingle Book Grown up now, Mowgli must make his way in the world of advertising. Quote
danceswithscissors Posted July 9, 2004 Posted July 9, 2004 THE LORD OF THE PINGS Frodo inherits an RM Nimbus 186. Unable to get a connection, he begins a quest to save the world from these insidious machines. Spoiler: He failed. Quote
Boojum Posted July 9, 2004 Author Posted July 9, 2004 "The Pot and the Pendulum" After a night of indulgence, Edgar Allan Poe admits he did expect the Spanish Inquisition. Quote
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.